stay at home yesterday,

except the time where i go and visit my grandpa.

i actually asked someone to go with me,

but none came forward to go with me.

end up,

i went alone.

its not that im scare to go alone,

im just worried that i will fall in front of my grandpa.

i dont want him to see the dark side of me,

i only want him to see the happy side of me.

when i was talking to him about family, grandchildren and etc,

suddenly he drop tears.

he told me that he is very bored,

very lonely.

bored cos nobody talks to him.

lonely cos he got family but no one is there to accompany him.

my heart hurts to the maximum,

to the extent that i never feel before.

i could not take it anymore,

i walk out and cool myself down.

when i leave to go home,

he look at me with his sad and wet eyes.

i really cant bear to see him like this.

but there's nothing i can do except going to visit him.

i only got weekends to visit him,

other days, i will be working.

nowadays,

when im going to visit him,

i hope someone could go with me.

all i can get is Precious in my heart.

at least there's better than nothing.

Precious,

thanks for being my listening ear.

Happy New Year Everyone!

stay at home the whole day today,

except out for dinner and visiting grandpa.

grandpa is in nursing home now.

i got no choice but to visit him in nursing home.

the service there is like shit!

they seem like leaving my grandpa aside and let him die.

when i reach there,

my grandpa is soaked with sweat.

and he feel very uncomfortable.

then my mum broke down,

i nearly broke down with her.

but i know i got to stay strong for her.

at that point of time,

i felt very lonely.

i needed someone to be by my side.

but i cant get anyone.

i dont know who to turn to,

how i wish Precious is with me.

Merry Christmas everyone!

went ladies night on wednesday with colleagues and friends.

free flow of drinks! woohoo.

haha. people that supposed to be drunk,

did not get drunk.

those that supposed not to be drunk,

but was dead drunk. LOL.

went home at 2plus.

yesterday was halfday for work!

knock off at 2 and went straight home.

reached home,

do alittle bit of things and went to sleep.

slept for 3hours! shiok man!

then prepared and head to ms to meet up with stan and yaya.

had dinner and catch up session.

headed home aftermath.

slept till 1plus today. hahaha.

currently waiting for 7plus to meet up with ruby and etc.

gonna celebrate christmas later!

not sure if going club or pub.

everyone is low in budget. haha.

anyway,

had not visit grandpa for 3days,

wonder how is he.

after christmas,

it is going to be 2010.

a brand new year,

a brand new start hopefully. lol.